Navigating the Minefield: Working with Couples

Location:  Billerica, MA - Courtyard by Marriott, Billerica

You've been working with a couple for a long time, and nothing seems to improve. You return over and over to the same struggles. One member of a couple tells you, in confidence, that he is having an affair, and tells you not to mention it in therapy. A couple drops out of therapy suddenly, with no explanation, leaving you baffled. Or maybe there is simply a couple you dread seeing.

For the most part, it does not matter how experienced or skilled we are, which model of therapy we practice, or how difficult the couple is. There are inherent traps in working with couples. When we stumble into these traps, and we will, we are at risk of making mistakes that can sabotage therapy.

In this workshop, we will examine eight "landmines" that typically challenge the couples therapist and are most likely to lead to mistakes that undermine therapy. These are: alliances, control, unarticulated expectations, the larger system of the couple, the impact of therapist values, gender, and dealing with taboos.

We will discuss particular types of challenges each of these landmines presents, and the types of mistakes they are likely to cause. This framework is designed to help trouble-shoot when therapy is not going well. It also serves as a therapy "companion" to help therapists think about their work in ways that sidestep the most common mistakes.

We will demonstrate the use of this framework for on-going self-supervision in order to prevent, recover from, and use our mistakes. Workshop participants will:

• Identify the most significant challenges in working with couples
• Identify common mistakes
• Use a self-assessment framework
• Develop practical strategies for preventing and recovering from mistakes

The workshop format includes lecture, discussion, case examples and video illustrations.

Instructor:

Jill Elka Harkaway, Ed.D. is a licensed Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist. She is on the faculty of The Cambridge Health Alliance and the Harvard University School of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry. Dr. Harkaway is Co-Director of the Couples Therapy Project and Co-Director of the Harvard Medical School Conference on Treating Couples. An Approved Supervisor for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, she has presented widely on topics in Couples and Family Therapy and is in private practice. Dr. Harkaway has taught in a wide variety of settings, teaching and training psychiatrists, social workers, counselors, milieu therapists, substance abuse counselors, trauma specialists, and psychologists. An engaging story-teller, she is known for her sense of humor and lively style.